Ask Dr. Faustaroll, Pataphysician #223
Dr. Faustaroll is permanently on ether sabbatical. Filling in is the distinguished sick fuck, the one and only DR. LIGI, PATAPHYSICIAN.
- I stood on the bridge
and he said ligi
it aint worth it
and I said yeah
so what else is new
but he wouldn’t listen
he wanted to listen to reason
he needed some purpose
he was looking for love
go on I told him jump
go on jump
so he jumpd
but you think anyone
gave me any credit
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Q:
Constant purging aesthetic discordance from the sight has stripped my gears at this point, Doc. Your “great shit” speaks for all of us at Smoke far better than I can about about the state of the state. We, and by that I mean, Yossarian, Ahab, Dangerfield, Jack Crabb, Neal, Jack, Hunter and all the other voices in Boot Hill that make up my collective I, not only applaud you but would actually like to make you our Facebook and Twitter posterboy of existential rage. What you think of that?
goldini
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A:
Fuck man, this apparently was moved by the spam filter with a bunch of MoveOn, BlogCatalog, Newsmax, Michael Moore, Overstock, DIRECTV, and [email protected], so now I’m forced to apologize for Prince Albert Gore In A Can, who invented the Ted Stevens Interweb of connected tubiflex communication worms.
Yeah, you’re right. I have no inner resources, and I am heavy bored, which led one of my mentors to leap into the frozen headwaters of the Mississippi and bounce to his silly death like a fling toy with a tiny battery powered microprocessor that giggled and sputtered about not touching the button.
Spring has spritzed upon the nation of miserable fucks, whose citizens stand in the rain and the wind as the shit storm approaches displaying their unquestionable white breast turkey DNA for the god’s entertainment, staring up into Stephen Hawking’s paralyzed magnificent sphincter, out of which the Grand Design is spewing, incessantly, while the average American retard (and those angry emotional cripples and intellectual invalids and mental midgets who aspire one day to achieve a level of retardation which will allow them to participate in teabagger and libtard reality dodgeball competitions amongst their self-righteous selves with live — if braindead — ammunition), and let me tell you there is nothing better than mayhem and natural catastrophes on Good Friday.
You forgot Hungry Chuck Bukowski, my warped and twisted sense of humor — Weird Uncle Al Yanking It Jarry, celebrity chefs Jeffrey Dahmer and Alferd E. Packer, my lost sense of dehumanisticism, Neil Spearman, the ultimate terminal Franks, — Zappa and Stanford — not to mention Dean Stanky-Woof Swift and my favorite misogynist — John-Boy Blind Lemming Milton. I’m so tired of hate crimes and poke us in the fanny conservatism and knee replacement jerk-off liberalism — that I have no intention of simply offending all those other icky isms, such as Idealism, Catholicism, capitalism, cataclysmic mysticism, Judaism, modernism, humanism, and supply-side random trickle-down jism spewed by the rational folks who continue to register to vote without having already received contracts from the candidates who appear determined to make marginally intelligent people wish for the days when eugenics was a reasonable means of dealing with mental and moral defectives.
Give me the Holocaust. Please.
I’m supporting Donald Trump in 2012. He fits.
Your buddy,
Osama bin Faustroll Allah Long
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ASK DR. FAUSTROLL #222 http://smokesignalsmag.com/7/?p=1758
ASK DR. FAUSTROLL #221 http://smokesignalsmag.com/7/?p=263
